I love reading birth stories! Especially when I only had a couple of babies and was excited for a big family. I would try to find blogs or forums where people told the stories. I wanted to hear as many as possible. But they were hard to find back in the early 2000’s and internet time was limited as I only had dial up internet on a big, clunky, slow computer. Anyway, if you’re interested in the births of my 10 children and 3 other pregnancies, here they are!
Pregnancy #1: Miscarriage #1 11-10-1999
I got married July 23, 1999. My mom advised we not have children right away but Nathan didn’t believe in any kind of birth control and we thought waiting a month was “not having children right away” so on October 1 I found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. I was excited because I would be due in June and my siblings and I are all summer babies so I thought I’d have all mine in the summer too. Unfortunately the next week I started spotting. I was seeing a doctor in Provo, UT where we were living but he didn’t have an ultrasound machine so he sent us to the hospital in Payson who did have one. They could see a fetus but couldn’t tell if the heart was beating or not so each visit they said, “Come back next week.” It was excruciating waiting another week not knowing if the baby was alive or not. I didn’t know if I should be on bedrest or quit work or what. Nathan didn’t ask so I didn’t ask. We didn’t have the internet or any close friends to talk to and our families lived out of state, necessitating a long distance call which we didn’t make. So I continued to take 17 credits and work 20 hours while bleeding for 5 weeks. I had a couple of friends at work who called me “Mama Marcie” because they were excited for me to be pregnant but I didn’t know if I was still was. On Halloween a friend dressed up as a pregnant woman and said, “Look, Marcie, I’m you!” I didn’t know what to say because I thought, “No, that’s not me. My baby is probably dying.” I just wish I knew if I was pregnant and could start preparing for the baby’s birth and talking about pregnancy with my friends or if I was going to miscarry then I wanted to hurry up and get it over with so that I could go back to being a newlywed and get all these raging hormones out of my body. Every week I made the trek to Payson until I was 10 weeks along and at last the doctor said there was no heartbeat. He scheduled a D&C for the next night, a Friday night, and I was so grateful to finally have an answer and end the pregnancy and be able to try again. The D&C went well and emotionally I felt much better just knowing I could have a clean slate now. I remember the next morning I woke up to blood all over the sheets and terrible cramping and a pounding headache and I reluctantly called in sick to work, feeling terribly guilty. I thought I’d be just fine to go. Nathan treated me like I was just fine and had no reason to rest so I went to church the next day and work and school on Monday.
I did recover pretty fast, gratefully, had a period in mid December, and found out I was pregnant again in mid January. I was kind of mad because I wanted all summer babies and this baby would be due in September, but that same day Nathan found out he was accepted to medical school in Texas so I felt God was leading our lives. He would be starting medical school in the fall and I would be having a baby. Nathan had been accepted into the medical scientist training program which gives you a small stipend ($18,500) a year to live off of for the 8 years it took to do the program. To poor college students, this was a fortune. I wouldn’t have to get a job in a new town and I was excited I’d be done with school in August and be a stay at home mom so maybe it was meant to be.
Pregnancy #2: Baby #1 Kylie 9-17-2000
I found out I was pregnant with Kylie 2 months after my first pregnancy miscarried. I immediately knew this baby would be fine and had no worries about her. I was sick and tired and struggled to keep up in school and at work but I did winter 2000 semester then took 9 credits (equal to 18 because it’s double time) each both spring and summer semesters and was able to graduate on August 10, 2000. The afternoon of college commencements (we went to Nathan’s but I had to miss mine) we flew to Dallas, Texas. Nathan had orientation the next day, a Saturday, and had first day of classes on Monday. Meanwhile I was in heaven not having any work or school for the first time in a really long time.
My due date was Monday, September 18, 2000. The day before I went to church and a nice friend gave me a lasagna for after I had the baby. I remember skipping out to my car with it and thinking I was feeling so good I definitely wouldn’t be having the baby today. Not that I knew what to expect, but I thought I’d at least be waddling and miserable the days before the baby came and I still felt good. As for the labor, I was planning on 24+ hours like my mom had. I pictured starting labor while Nathan was at school and I’d pass the time cooking. I would make bread and rolls and a bunch of meals to last us a month. When he got home we’d go swimming in the apartment pool and eat dinner and read/study all night. The next day we’d time contractions and go to the hospital when they were 5 minutes apart.
The baby didn’t follow my plans, though. The Sunday afternoon I received the lasagna, I wanted to watch the women’s gymnastics competitions of the Olympics but Nathan said we couldn’t watch TV on Sunday. I was quite disappointed because I had done gymnastics as a teenager and I knew my family would all be watching without me. Nathan suggested instead that we go visit a guy a few floors up from us who he’d met on the stairs one time and had told about our church. I reluctantly went and I remember watching his TV as he had “Who Wants to Be A Millionaire” on, a show I’d heard about but never seen. (All we had was a 6” tiny portable black and white TV my grandma had used in her camping trailers and given us so we rarely watched TV.)
This guy was divorced but telling us about both of his babies’ birth stories. The first baby he took his wife to the hospital 3 times only to be sent home so the second one he finished the day at work and by the time he got home he only had time to deliver the baby right there in the bathroom. Just as he said this my water broke! I was sitting on a dining room chair and I felt a pop and suddenly the chair was all wet. It was so embarrassing since I don’t even know this guy and never saw him again. We jumped up and ran down the 3 floors to our 3rd floor apartment. I remember feeling really scared and hoping they would just knock me out and cut me open so I wouldn’t have to experience any pain. We called my parents and my mom said to go to bed and get a good night’s sleep as I’d likely be in labor all day tomorrow. (Her labors were 24+ hours.) She had a free frequent flyer ticket and would get on the internet (old dial up) and book her flight for the next morning so that she could see the baby be born. Then we called Nathan’s parents and his mom said to go right to the hospital. (Her labors were 2-5 hours) Our phone bill shows we made these calls between 10 and 10:30pm. After we got off the phone I started having bad pains in my back. They came 5 minutes apart and Nathan was obedient to his mom so we got my things together and left. My bag had been packed and I remember pulling out the boy clothes and leaving them behind, then wondering why I did that as I didn’t know if it was a boy or girl. I also remember thinking, “I never got to make bread or rolls.”
We got to the hospital shortly after 11 and had a hard time finding visitor parking (but he had a student parking pass so he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to park in visitor parking) and an open door. We ran around the hospital several times before we found someone coming out into the parking garage and held the door for us so we could go in. Meanwhile I’d had several contractions that knocked me down on all fours on the sidewalk and Nathan would push on my back. When we got to the maternity ward we were shown a room and I changed into a gown. The nurse asked if I’d like an epidural and I said if it lasted like this for 10 more hours I would. She said to get on the bed and she’d check me. She did and I was 9 cm so there wasn’t time for an epidural. She was so excited that it made me excited, knowing the end was near. After that it seemed really easy. I felt like pushing but the nurses said not to push until the doctor came. They paged a doctor who came in all bouncy and bubbly, saying, “We’re going to have a baby!” Nathan said he was in medical school and could he deliver. Since it was just a doctor on call who didn’t know us she said sure. They all said to push but I looked at the clock and said I wanted to wait until midnight so she could be born on her due date. They all laughed and I couldn’t hold back another push and our first baby girl was born at 11:37pm, just 2 hours after my water had broken. Nathan was able to deliver her with the doctor’s assistance and right afterward the doctor asked what year he was in med school and when Nathan said it was his first year, just 4 weeks in, I saw her jaw drop. I think she thought he was further along and specializing in obstetrics or something. Oh well!
The baby weighed 8 lbs 1 oz and we named her Kylie. Nathan called his parents in Florida and woke them up and told them. Then he called my parents in CA and got the internet answering machine. At the time they had only one phone line so if they were on the internet the machine would pick up. Apparently my mom was still online getting her flight and was shocked that I’d already had the baby when she hadn’t even gotten her ticket yet. So much for being at the birth!
After the phone calls they gave me Kylie to nurse and Nathan went and signed the admittance papers which took him 45 minutes. I felt alone and abandoned and didn’t know when to switch sides so I just nursed her on that side the whole time until the nurse and Nathan came back and told me to switch. But at least nursing was easy for both of us and all of my subsequent babies. We got to our room sometime after 1am and didn’t get a lot of sleep that night and Nathan left to take a biochemistry test at 8am and then picked up my mom from the airport later that day. I went home from the hospital on Tuesday and felt really good. That Saturday I took Kylie to the women’s session of general conference which was broadcasted at the stake center and involved a nice dinner too. It was fun showing her off there as well as at church the next day. My mom always went to church the first Sunday after having a baby so I did too and thought nothing of it. I did it with every single one of my babies, even the ones born on Thursday and Friday.
So that is the story of my first baby’s birth. It felt so miraculous, having her come so fast and easily and I dreamt about it for months. I was so happy I didn’t have to have an epidural and knew the rest I wouldn’t either. I couldn’t wait to have another and knew then and there I wanted a big family to experience that special moment over and over. It felt like Christmas: a moment you wait months for and then almost disappointed when it’s over, knowing you’ll have to wait a long time for another Christmas morning. Childbirth is even more special than Christmas because I’d probably have 80 Christmases in my life and even if I had a big family of 10 or 12 kids, that’s only 10 or 12 special deliveries.
Pregnancy # 3: Baby #2 Madalyn 2-02-2002
At Kylie’s 6 month check up the almost retired doctor told me she should be eating 3 solid meals a day now so I followed his advice and started giving her solids more often which made her only want to nurse 3-4 times a day and the next month my period came back and the next month I was pregnant. I was excited because my 2 sisters-in-law were also pregnant, due in December and now I was due January 28. Even though we were in different states, it was fun to be pregnant with them. I never wanted a winter baby but I was thrilled to be pregnant again and have 2 children close together. The pregnancy was awful as the whole first trimester was over a hot, humid Dallas summer. We didn’t have a/c, just a window unit in the living room that did very little to cool the house so I spent the summer taking cold showers and hanging out in front of the window unit. Kylie spent the summer wearing diapers only. We were pretty miserable. I continued to nurse Kylie until her first birthday and that fall was wonderful with the morning sickness gone, cooler weather and a baby just learning to walk.
Madalyn’s birth story is almost identical to Kylie’s except she was a week late. On Sunday, February 3 I was hanging out scrapbooking and eating popcorn in the living room with Nathan and my mom who had flown out to watch Kylie. It was 10:30pm and I started to pack up my supplies when I had a contraction. I put my stuff away and gave directions to my mom about Kylie, age 16 months, then got my hospital bag and we left. We got to the hospital and Nathan told the nursing staff to call the doctor. They said they would after they checked me so I settled into a delivery room and got hooked up to a monitor. They checked me and I was a 6 so they busied themselves with admitting me. Nathan was interested in how the monitor worked because I hadn’t had time for that with Kylie and he was now a 2nd year med student. While he was chatting with the nurse I had terrible back labor and couldn’t stand it anymore so I just started praying it would go fast and then pushing the baby out. Nathan and the nurse came over and Nathan was able to catch the baby again since the doctor wasn’t even there yet. I was so happy she was out because it had hurt worse than my first since with Kylie I was busy running around the hospital trying to get in and was only on the bed for 10 minutes before she came out. This time I was flat on my back for 45 minutes and I vowed I wouldn’t let that happen again.
The baby was born at 12:06 (just after midnight so it was February 4) and also weighed 8 lbs 1 oz. I loved how similar their births were. Kylie’s was from 9:30-11:30 and Madalyn’s was 10:30-12, both on Sunday nights and both weighing the same amount.
The next morning we had a rare snow storm and my mom was home with 16 month old Kylie freezing as we had no heater. Nathan ran to Lowes and picked up a space heater and my mom sat in front of it nonstop. When I came home on Tuesday we froze too but all the stores were out of space heaters. Luckily Nathan was able to find a friend we could borrow one from which we used the rest of the winter.
Baby #3 Spencer 10-07-2003
When Madalyn was 6 months I didn’t push baby food on her so she breastfed more and I didn’t have my first period until December when she was 10 months old. In January I found out I was pregnant with baby #3. We were once again freezing in our little non-heated 1951 house. So we found a friend to install central a/c and heat. They had to put in the ductwork and vents and the whole system as the house had nothing, but it was fairly simple, the house only having 5 rooms: the tiny kitchen, the living room, the bathroom, and 2 bedrooms and only 761 sq feet. It cost over $4,000 and we put it on a credit card and didn’t pay it off until we sold the house, but it was what we had to do. Nathan only got the $18,000 a year stipend and we were scrimping as it was. I avoid debt when I can but I couldn’t let my babies freeze and Nathan always assured me we would be fine when he got out of medical school.
It goes without saying that this pregnancy was easier. I wasn’t morning sick over the summer and I had wonderful a/c for the 2nd and 3rd trimesters. I went walking every morning at 9 with my friends that summer, getting quite a workout pushing my girls in the double stroller with my swollen belly. We’d let the kids play at the park for a little bit and came home dripping with sweat. I would jump in a cold shower and then fix lunch for us and put the girls down for their naps. I hung out in front of a box fan and tried not to use the a/c until I was miserable, just to save money. It felt good to get daily exercise and have social interaction for me and the kids and not have to use the a/c until the afternoon at which point I was really grateful for it. It was a good summer.
Spencer was due September 27 but I knew he would be a week late like Madalyn just because they were both conceived after only one period and I knew it was a long cycle so I wasn’t fertile at day 14 but more like day 21. Sure enough, Spencer didn’t come until October 7, 10 days late. I was thinking he’d come on a Sunday night like the girls but Sunday came and went and no baby. Monday I was upset about that and tried to get myself to go into labor. I jumped on the tramp and was active all day trying to get this baby out because my doctor wanted to induce the next morning. My neighbor friend who was an L & D nurse said I could stick my fingers in and pop my own water so before going to bed I tried but was too scared. I figured if I got up in the night to go to the bathroom I’d try again or first thing in the morning. I really believed in God starting labor when He wants to and I loved the two stories he’d given me already but I also figured if I had to be induced in the morning it was ok to induce myself right before the hospital tried.
I packed all the last minute things like the camera, set the alarm to get up for the 6:00 induction time, and we went to bed at 12:30. As soon as we laid down on the mattress on the floor (the one Nathan found on the side of the road to replace the air mattress we’d slept on for 2 years), I felt a pain in my back. I told Nathan and he immediately got up and said let’s go to the hospital. I wasn’t sure; maybe I was just making it up b/c I had wanted to go into labor so badly. But he just got dressed and grabbed my bag and was going to leave without me so I jumped up, dressed, and followed him. I had another contraction at the front door and we told my mom sleeping on our couch that we were going to the hospital. She said, “You don’t go to the hospital after only 2 contractions.” We did.
I had another one in the car and another one getting out of the car. We went into the hospital and Nathan once again told the staff to call the doctor but they said they had to check me first. I went to the bathroom and put a gown on and had a really bad contraction where I braced my head and hands against the wall and started pushing. I told them I was bleeding and they said it was just a bit of bloody show which often happens at the beginning of labor. I got onto the bed and the nursed took one look, ran to the door and yelled to the nursing station not too far from my door, “She’s complete with a bulging bag!” Then pop! I felt a big pop and I just started pushing the baby out and once again Nathan put on gloves and caught it. The doctor hadn’t even been called yet and the nurse said I’d only been in the room for 6 minutes, a new record for them. 🙂 I loved it! I didn’t want to have to lie in bed for an hour, didn’t want an IV, didn’t want to answer a bunch of questions while in pain. Now I was able to just lie there and nurse and relax while the nurse entered all my information into the computer. Spencer was born at “1:00 straight up” the nurse said so from first contraction to delivery was 30 minutes. Sweet!
Spencer was my easiest pregnancy, I gained the least weight (16 lbs), quickest delivery, least painful delivery, and a very easy baby. He was 8 lbs 8 oz and had 2 chins. He slept through the night every few nights those first few weeks and then consistently by 6 weeks. He had no trouble packing it in during the day, greedily drinking from my overabundant supply of milk. He gained weight very quickly and was quite the chunky baby.
Pregnancy #5: Baby #4 Alexis 07-12-2005
When Spencer was 11 months old I had my first period and was almost shocked and disappointed when I had another one 36 days later and I wasn’t pregnant. I briefly wondered if something was wrong with me and I was shocked because I’d gotten pregnant every time I’d ovulated since getting married. I was disappointed because I still wanted a June baby and the first one had miscarried and now I’d missed my chance again. However, the next month, Nov. 1, I took a pregnancy test and was excited to be pregnant again and due July 6. Finally the summer baby I’ve always wanted! This pregnancy was much like the girls’ so I knew right away it was a girl. I’m much sicker with girls than with boys. I was glad it was over the winter so that the morning sickness wasn’t too bad, but I was still pretty miserable.
Six days past my due date, on July 12, 2005, I woke up at 5am and went to the bathroom. I went back to bed and laid there and told Heavenly Father it would be a perfect time to go into labor. The first 3 were all just as I was going to bed so it was a night of no sleep as everyone knows nurses don’t let you sleep the night of having a baby. I would love to have one in the morning, all refreshed and full of energy and then have the day to bond and cuddle without trying to get some sleep. As I explained all this to Him I felt the familiar pain in my lower back. I thought I was making it up so I laid there another 10 minutes and then felt it again. I still wasn’t sure if it was all in my head (or in my back! haha) but after the 3rd contraction I woke up Nathan. My mom was again visiting from California and sleeping on the couch so we whispered to her I was in labor and snuck out of the house in the dawn of a bright, humid, summer morning. We got to the hospital at 5:45am, still not feeling much pain yet. The nurses at the station said I was so calm they thought I was here for a scheduled induction and failed to find my name. It’s funny because when my doctor was pressuring me to be induced I chose July 12 but she said that day was full and I never chose another date but here I was on the 12th showing up with other inductions. Anyway, we kept having to tell the nurses I was in labor and that I go fast. I don’t know if they called the doctor or waited until they checked me, but she was there at 6am, 15 minutes after we got there, so she was fast. It was nice to actually have a doctor there to get things ready, break the bed down, get the bassinet ready, supplies, etc instead of me just giving birth on the sheet with Nathan catching. The doctor wouldn’t let Nathan deliver even though now he had finished 2 years of med school and 3 years of phD. But oh well. Alexis was easy to push out and arrived at 6:11 am, an hour after my first contraction, and weighing 7 lbs 10 oz, my smallest baby so far. I was really excited to have a baby less than 8 pounds. 🙂
I loved that summer having 4 small children. Kylie was 4 ½, Madalyn was 3, and Spencer was 21 months. I loved dressing Alexis in little pink onesies and not having to bundle her. I was out and about right away like I was with all my babies, but it was less stressful as summer just feels so carefree, slower-paced, and cheerful. The days we stayed home we did quite a bit of preschool work as it was too hot to play outside and from then on while living in Texas and north Carolina I homeschooled the hottest, boringest parts of the summer and took time off in the spring and fall when we could play outside and go to parks or on field trips when the rest of the city was in school.
Pregnancy #6: Baby #5 Thomas 8-10-07
I nursed Alexis exclusively a bit longer because I actually didn’t want a baby in May or June this go around. Nathan would be graduating from medical school on June 1, 2007 and we’d move to another state for residency and I didn’t want to have a newborn the month before or be due the month following. I was fine with a baby any other time but those 2 months. I also told Heavenly Father I needed this pregnancy to be easy because I had been looking forward to applications, interviews, and moving so much and I wanted to enjoy every minute of it. Gratefully, Heavenly Father listened and granted both requests. I had 3 periods after Alexis turned 1 and when I got the confirmed positive test and was so happy that I was due August 3–just enough time to move and get settled before giving birth. I had plenty of energy, enthusiasm, and excitement throughout the pregnancy so I knew God answered prayers. I also figured it was a boy because I wasn’t as sick as with my girls. Nathan applied to schools all fall and had interviews in January. Nathan’s sister came out and stayed with the kids for 10 days as we flew to Raleigh, NC and drove around to 7 interviews in 5 different states (NC, WV, OH, KY, and IN.) I felt great the whole time and had a blast getting to work out at the hotels and eat breakfast by myself every morning while he went to interviews and then drive around the cities scoping out where we’d live if we matched there.
I packed little by little all spring so that it wouldn’t be overwhelming with 4 little kids and I had everything packed by graduation day. Nathan had matched with East Carolina University/ Brody School of Medicine so we were off to North Carolina! My dad flew out to drive the Uhaul and I drove the minivan, leaving at 1pm and driving all night and all the next day to arrive in Greenville, NC around 7pm. My dad was so good to set up our waterbed that night (that I’d finally gotten off craigslist after Spencer was born because I was tired of our lumpy mattress on the floor next to the cockroaches) while he bunked down on the living room floor, then up at 6:30 to put together our trampoline.
Sorry, this is a post about childbirth, I forgot! So I was blessed to easily be able to do all I needed to that pregnancy and still feel great. August 3 came and went and like I was getting used to, this baby was also 7 days late. At 1:30am on a Friday morning I woke up with the familiar back labor pains. My mom wasn’t coming to help with this baby so we called our neighbor who came over and stayed with the kids while we rushed to the hospital. We insisted the staff call the doctor right away, which they actually did. She showed up, asked how I was doing, the nurse said I was a 6 and she said great, she’ll go admit me. She left to go do the paperwork and I thought, “Where’s she going? My doctor finally makes it and she’s leaving?” And seconds later I pushed the baby out without her. Nathan didn’t have time to grab gloves so the nurse caught him, a little boy 7 lbs 10 oz with a full head of hair. All of my other babies were bald so that was a nice surprise.
When Nathan’s dad woke up that morning he jumped in his minivan and drove 10 hours up from Florida to get our kids. He spent the night and then drove them 10 hours back to his house for a week. It’s the first time our kids have gone to grandparents house without us and I wasn’t sure how they would do, but boy did I love postpartum without them! Nathan would go to work and I had the house to myself with baby Thomas. I love being home alone and the freedom to do what I wanted when I wanted. I mean, I had a baby only a few days old so it wasn’t all freedom but I loved putting him in the bouncer in the bathroom while I showered, holding him while I ate lunch, and not having any spouse or children to need anything from me. It was great–well as long as Nathan was at work. He had some issues that week in the evenings so I dreaded him coming home but I cherished the hours he was gone. Thomas was an easy, happy baby and I loved dressing him in adorable rompers the rest of the summer and warm North Carolina fall. I loved taking the 5 kids on a few field trips like pumpkin patches or state parks and explore our new beautiful state. Having 5 kids was a great time for me as we loved our new big home with only 3 girls in one bedroom and the 2 boys in the other. It was light and bright and so happy and grateful for it.
Pregnancy #7: Stillbirth Julianne 2-3-2009
When Thomas was 11 months I had my first period and a month later I found out I was pregnant. It was the only pregnancy where I felt a little overwhelmed and unsure when I found out. That first day I was kinda disappointed as I was enjoying the 5 kids and didn’t want to go through morning sickness and a pregnancy again. I didn’t feel ready. Nathan was starting his second year of residency and busier than any previous year of his medical training. I was feeling lonely parenting by myself and never being able to go anywhere with friends or even a walk as the oldest was just turning 8 that fall. The next day, though I got excited for a new little baby again. I would be due in April and was super excited about my first spring baby. I was also proud that I’d have 6 kids before I turned 30 in May, all 8 and under.
The morning sickness was pretty bad and I wasn’t surprised at all when we found out in November that it was a girl. I was thrilled. I would have 4 girls and 2 boys like my family growing up. However in February, at 28 weeks, the baby died and I delivered her stillborn. We named her Julianne and buried her in a beautiful cemetery in the countryside outside of town. You can read about the story in Losing A Baby at 28 Weeks. It was heartbreaking and something I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. I had never experienced grief before and had no idea it would it hit me so hard. It was one of my worst fears come true and it took awhile to heal.
One of the hardest things is that I’ve always had milk for 2 babies and now I didn’t even have one baby. I pumped a couple of times a day for a couple of months. Nathan told me not to so that I’d dry up faster but really, who wants to go around with painful, engorged breasts all day while carrying an 18 month old? I really wanted to start nursing him again but I’d weaned him at 13 months and Nathan told me not to even though maybe it would have helped me heal emotionally, just having a baby to nurse while my arms felt so empty. So I pumped with a little hand pump and saved some of my milk in the freezer until I was ready to let go. I put some in Kaitlyn’s rice cereal and it helped me heal.
Pregnancy # 8: Miscarriage 6-9-2009
I had a period March 15 and one on April 25 and then on May 29 I was feeling awfully nauseous so I took a pregnancy test that night that came back positive. I wasn’t ready for a baby yet and didn’t want a January baby or to be morning sick all summer but by the time I got excited for the baby it miscarried on June 9. Luckily it miscarried cleanly, on it’s own at home. I spotted all day and then terrible cramps came in the evening where I spent a long time on the toilet until I could see a golf ball size blood clot looking thing pass and I knew it was the baby. I cried and grieved in my own way by myself and felt grateful it was over in one day (besides bleeding for a couple of weeks and getting blood tests at the doctor’s to make sure my hcg levels were going back down and everything looked good.)
Pregnancy #9: Baby # 6 Kaitlyn 4-13-2010
After the miscarriage on June 9 I had a period July 11 and found out I was pregnant August 5. This time I was ready and knew in my gut that everything would be fine so I was thrilled. I didn’t even mind the morning sickness too much because I just wanted a healthy baby so bad. I hated being pregnant for the second school year in a row (August through April) but tried to still do fun things like science experiments and taking the kids on field trips. In November we found out it was a girl again and I was so happy to have the chance to have an April spring baby girl again. I definitely felt that was a gift from God. That November I was also blessed to find an 8 passenger minivan which we bought so that our whole family could fit. (We currently had a 7 passenger.) It was a 2006 with 75,000 miles and it’s been a wonderful car. I still have it and love it, now with 163,000 miles and lots of wear and tear.
Nathan was now finishing up his 3rd year of internal medicine residency and for the month of April he was working nights. I was due on April 17 and my sister was flying in on April 14 to watch the children while I was in the hospital. I was pretty sure this baby would be on time or even a few days early because when I have a miscarriage I ovulate 14 days later (cycles are normal) but when I have a period while nursing I ovulate anywhere from 20-36 days later (hormones are suppressed.)
Monday April 12 was our first day of spring break. I had a whole list of things to get done that week before the baby came. I started the day by taking my minivan battery to the auto store and getting a new one. Then I took the youngest 2 kids on a mommy date while the older 3 watched themselves (ages 6, 8 and 9) and Nathan slept. When I got home I got started with the yard work but had to quit ¾ of the way through because I was so hot and dizzy. I remember sitting on the porch swing and feeling so worn out. I was kind of perplexed as usually I can push myself to finish everything because I just can’t stop until it’s done. But I finally gave up and said I’d finish tomorrow and went into the house to take care of the kids, dinner, get Nathan off to work and put the kids to bed.
The next morning I woke up at 6:30 and went to the bathroom and went back to bed. At 7 I realized I was sleeping fitfully and feeling uncomfortable and wondered if I was in labor. I’ve had that feeling before rearranging furniture or doing yard work but it went away so I said a prayer and asked to know if it was real or not. I paged Nathan and he called back saying he’d be right home–his friend grabbed his pager from him and told him to run. I still wasn’t sure if it was real labor or false alarm, especially since I wasn’t due yet. But I packed my toiletries, made my bed, and called my friend who had offered to watch my kids if my sister wasn’t here yet. Then I went upstairs to tell the kids even though I still wasn’t sure because I was feeling better now. They were playing monopoly and were so excited I went into labor while they were awake so they could be a part of it. So far I’d always gone to the hospital when they were asleep. Kylie had been praying for that and I had also been praying to not go into labor in the middle of the night when Nathan was gone, so our prayers were answered.
I quickly got the kids ready and we all got in the van (luckily I’d gotten a new battery the day before) to wait for Nathan. I ran back in to straighten up and remembered to call my doctor and told the answering service to tell DeEtte, my midwife that I’d be at the hospital in 20 minutes. When I hung up I felt my first contraction just as Nathan was pulling up. We left at 7:35 and drove through rush hour (forgot about that) to my friend’s house who lives across from the hospital. We got there at 8, dropped off the kids, and went to the hospital. The admissions people said they knew I was coming and they rushed us right in. I was a little embarrassed to be so popular and I still wasn’t having very many or strong contractions so I could tell this labor was going to be slower. I was even more embarrassed to walk in our room and find DeEtte just sitting in the rocking chair, waiting for us. She told me in her NC accent, “Change into a gown, I’ll break your water, and we can have this baby!” That sounded easy to me so I was happy about that. I changed and DeEtte got things ready while they entered my history on the computer. Everything was pretty relaxed and we all chatted and I said, “I don’t know what’s taking this baby so long!” DeEtte told me how when she got the call she had her husband take the baby to day care and she had brought her 6 year-old with her on the way to school, not wanting to miss the delivery. She was now in the nurses’ lounge, having breakfast so I kinda felt pressured to hurry so she wasn’t too late for school.
DeEtte broke my water at 8:30 and then nothing happened. She told me I could push but I wasn’t feeling anything, so I was embarrassed to just sit there, keeping her waiting. I felt like I should apologize and we told her how Spencer was born only 6 minutes after I got to the hospital and here I’ve been here 20 minutes and nothing. 🙂 Finally I felt like pushing and I pushed her out at 8:40am. Nathan was able to deliver her and everything went well. Kaitlyn cried right away and I was so happy to see a healthy, screaming baby. I couldn’t believe it. All the waiting and longing for a little girl and here she was! Waiting through 28 weeks of one pregnancy, then a miscarriage, and then 40 weeks of another one, I sometimes wondered if the day would ever come when I got to hold a little baby again, so now I was treasuring this moment. I had taken my first 5 healthy babies for granted but I wouldn’t ever again.
After Kaitlyn was born everything went better than ever. I got to watch them footprint her, give her vitamin K, weigh her, and bathe her. They did everything right next to me and it was really fun to watch. The whole time Kaitlyn was crying and sucking on her fist. She was born hungry! Everyone joked about that. At 9 they left us alone so I got to nurse her, a moment I also treasured. Not being able to nurse Julianne was harder on me than I thought and for months after she died I had dreams of nursing her or forgetting to nurse her, so being able to breastfeed a baby again was something I wouldn’t take for granted anymore. I had fears I wouldn’t be able to for some reason or the baby would be colicky and need special formula or something. Luckily that wasn’t the case and I was able to nurse her just fine. Kaitlyn was 8 lbs 1 oz just like my first 2 girls and has always been healthy and tall for her age. I did notice in the hospital her face was asymmetrical and was later diagnosed with torticollis, an experience you can read about in Infant Torticollis. But for the time being I was thrilled to have 6 children, a feat that seemed to take extra long to get with a stillborn and miscarriage in between #5 and 6. I was grateful the labor and delivery went smoothly and not too painful, it wasn’t in the middle of the night, and I had friends to watch the kids before my sister flew in. It was the happiest spring with many photo shoots of my 6 little young’uns.
Pregnancy #10: Baby #7 Makenna
After having a stillborn but plenty of milk and no baby to nurse, I said I would never take nursing for granted again and I didn’t. To tell the truth, after 5 kids I was starting to get blah about nursing. I never once gave any of them a bottle, not of breast milk or formula. I was with them 24/7 and weaned them between 12-14 months. So I was starting to feel a bit used and not enjoying it as much as I wish I were. That’s where losing a baby was a blessing. With all that milk and my arms aching to hold a baby and dreams of forgetting to nurse my baby I just couldn’t wait to hold a live, whimpering, wiggly baby rooting to nurse. I wanted it so bad. So I absolutely loved nursing Kaitlyn and was grateful to have those warm fuzzy feelings once again.
I nursed Kaitlyn exclusively the first 6 months (doctors were now saying to wait 6 months before starting solids) and nursed more throughout the day than I had my other children from ages 6-12 months so I had my first period April 17, just after Kaitlyn turned 1. When I first get my cycle back while nursing it is very long, usually around 45 days and this one would have been at least that long if I’d had a second period. However, I got pregnant right away. I took a test on May 24 and 28 (days 37 and 41) and they were both negative but on June 8 (day 52) the test was positive. Based on my period date I would have been due January 22, but I know I didn’t ovulate 14 days after my period–more like day 32 or later–so I told the doctor a February 10 due date which she listened to and went by. I was so scared to miscarry and then not be pregnant or nursing because I hated losing Julianne after Thomas was already weaned and not having a baby to nurse, so I waited until after the first trimester and Kaitlyn was about 16 months old before weaning her.
The pregnancy was miserable since it was during a hot, humid summer like Madalyn’s and I regretted that but now I’m happy Makenna was born in February like her buddy, Madalyn. And she’s 22 months younger than Kaitlyn and they’ve always been best friends. I wouldn’t have wanted them any further apart. From how sick I was I could tell it was a girl and I was thrilled to have 2 girls in a row like Kylie and Madalyn were. These two girls would have similar names: Kaitlyn and Makenna and were each 10 years apart from their buddy.
In January I wrote on my personal blog that I was praying for a cool birth story. Having God decide when I go into labor and provide a fun story–a surprise for me; when and where it will happen–was the #1 reason why I’ve always refused to be induced even a week late. I had faith that God was in charge of the timing and would send the little one when the time was right. I also loved having fast labors with no epidural or pain medication and I was afraid of having a longer, more difficult birth if I had to be induced and lie there for a couple of hours. Many of my births I didn’t have time for an IV or anything. If I could have had a home birth or at a birthing center I would have loved it! In Texas I didn’t know about those options and with Nathan a med student our births at the hospital were very cheap (free for the first ones and then $100 a day for the next two.) In North Carolina home births were against the law and the birthing center was 2 hours away so going there was out of the question. The last few babies I was on medicaid and they wouldn’t cover it anyway so I’ve always been sad I haven’t had a home birth or at a birthing center which I would have loved to experience.
Anyway, come February 2012 I was still praying and looking forward to a good labor and delivery story. However, my dream turned into a small nightmare when the week before my due date, it was discovered the baby was breech. It was the same room where I was told my baby was dead two pregnancies earlier, so I kinda freaked out. The doctor wanted to do a c-section the next day but I needed some time to think, pray, and get an answer of what I should do. She pushed for the c-section because my deliveries are so fast that if I went into labor over the weekend it would end up an emergency c-section, which she didn’t want to do. Nevertheless, even though it was Wednesday, I talked her into letting me wait the weekend. I told my family spread out in different states throughout the country and we fasted and prayed the whole weekend. I was a mess with worry. Deep down I felt like things would work out, but realistically I couldn’t figure out how. I looked up ways to get the baby to flip and tried them out like standing on my head, lying upside down on the stairs, and eating certain “yang” foods that were reported to help. Nothing worked and it was the most stressful weekend I’ve ever had despite it being Madalyn’s 10th birthday. I know plenty of people have c-sections but I wasn’t handling the news very well and was sick with worry every moment.
I went to the doctor on Monday, hoping my prayers were answered and the baby had righted herself, but no, the baby was still breech. My doctor said I could do a c-section the next day or try an external cephalic version where I’d get an epidural and then she would try to manually get the baby to turn by pushing on my stomach. If the baby turned she would induce labor to get her out while she was head down. I went home and researched and prayed about each option. I read some bad stories of women getting the ECV but I also talked to a friend who’d had it done successfully so I decided I’d do that. I called the doctor back and scheduled it for 6:00 the next morning. I didn’t feel good about it but hadn’t felt good about any of my options: delivering breech, a c-section, or the flip. I felt so stuck.
In the middle of the night at 1:40am, I went into labor and was so scared. I worried if I got there too early I’d be rushed for an emergency c-section. If I got there too late the doctor wouldn’t be there to deliver a breech baby. (Many of my babies were delivered before the doctor got there and I never cared but this time I wanted her there.)
God had everything in control though. I got to the hospital and my doctor did an ultrasound to confirm the baby was still breech. She also checked me and I was 8-9 cm which for me means only minutes until delivery. She announced she was doing an emergency c-section and was trying to get me to sign papers. The room got crowded fast with an anesthesiologist and a bunch of other people talking about shaving me and a catheter and being cut open. I just kept thinking how much I’d fasted and prayed over the weekend to avoid this and how I had to do something to prevent it. They started rolling me down the hall and into the OR and I turned on my side and braced myself on the bed railings and pushed as hard as I could until I felt her little body slip out. As soon as we went through the OR doors I said, “I think she’s out” and lifted up the sheet to show the nurses. They yelled, “She delivered!” and my doctor came running. She saw that the head was still inside me so she quickly delivered the head (and told me later she had studied up on breech deliveries over the weekend just in case so she was glad she knew how.) The cord was around her neck and underneath her arm. I sat up and was overwhelmed with gratitude that she was born and the entire stress of a breech baby was over. It had been a really long week that felt like forever and would never have an ending. I was elated. I could have jumped up and gone home right then. I couldn’t wait to tell everyone that the fasting and prayers worked.
It was 2:32am. The doctor held the baby up and said, “Breathe, baby, breathe.” I realized she wasn’t breathing and said a prayer. Then she let out a tiny cry. The doctor said, “I need a suction somebody!” Someone ran into the nearest room and grabbed one. Someone else came to clamp the cord. It was all so fast. They cut the cord and whisked the baby into the closest room and quickly gave her a c-pap to help her breathe. The anesthesiologist came up to me to tell me about the epidural and then said, “She delivered?” Everyone started laughing and congratulating me on avoiding a cesarean and saying they couldn’t believe how fast it was, and that’s the way to do it! They made me feel good and for my entire hospital stay I was known as the one who had a breech baby in the hallway. Every personnel had heard the story.
They took baby Makenna to the NICU just to be checked out but they sent her right back after 10 minutes, by the time I was pushed back into my original room and delivered the placenta. My doctor said the cord was really short and if she’d done the ECV then either she wouldn’t have ever turned which would mean a c-section or if she had turned then it would have ripped the placenta off the top of the uterus which would have necessitated a c-section. So she was thrilled it had worked out this way. I’ve seen miracles for each of my deliveries but this one trumped. If I had gotten to the hospital 10 minutes earlier I would have been under the knife. If the doctor had gotten there 10 minutes later nobody would have known how to deliver the head and Makenna could have died. The doctor was quick to resuscitate her and now she is healthy 8 year-old. If I’d done the ECV I would have ended up with a c-section. It was also a miracle that Makenna was only 6lbs 13 oz instead of my traditional 8 lb babies so that she would come out easily for a breech baby. Those are the main miracles we saw and I’m so glad God intervened and answered our prayers. And I got the fun story I wanted: Mom pushes 7th baby out breech in the hallway of the OR.
Because Makenna was breech her legs were up by her head a lot. It was kinda funny. I didn’t have to worry about my baby being switched at the hospital because she was the only breech baby born during my stay and everytime we unwrapped her, her legs flew up to her ears. I definitely knew she was mine. She had to have ultrasounds on her hips for a few months–I want to say until she was 4 months old–to make sure she didn’t have hip dysplasia but she didn’t. She grew perfectly healthy and normal, just a little on the short side, but I’m happy about that because I’m short and my first 6 kids are all tall.
Pregnancy #11: Baby #8 Samuel 10-28-2013
I had my first period on January 21 and a positive pregnancy test on February 27, the month Makenna turned 1. We had a contract on a 20 acre property in the country and I was aggressively saving for it. Nathan had his good job making close to $100k and for the first time in our life we had no debt except our mortgage, had plenty of money for our needs, and were able to serve others with it (do 12 Days of Christmas to friends, donate to charities, help random people in need.) I was looking forward to settling down in the country and living there happily ever after. However, just as I found out I was pregnant Nathan announced he was quitting his job in June. I would have freaked out–you don’t get pregnant without a job lined up– but that was months away so there was plenty of time to find something else. We cancelled our contract on our beautiful property and started looking out of states for jobs. I was so sad about our country house but really excited for our new future and to see the Lord guiding us where He wanted us.
Things didn’t work that way as Nathan rarely applied for any jobs and his scrupulosity took over. He spent more time policing things we did and other people did and having obsessive-compulsive issues with everything than getting a job.
When the October 28 due date rolled around I was sick of Nathan being home with us every day and depressed that Nathan didn’t have a job yet even though it had only been 4 months. Because I had gotten pregnant while nursing during a long cycle, I was pretty sure the baby would be born around November 3 or 4th. I’ve always been right about my due dates before so when I was feeling some false labor on the 28th I didn’t think too much of it. I had spent the afternoon rearranging furniture in my room: moving my scrapbooking table out of the room, moving my desk to the other side, bringing in a recliner chair, and getting out the bassinet. So it was no surprise that while making dinner and juggling that witching hour with 7 kids, I started feeling achy in my lower back. As soon as I put all the food on the table and Nathan came home from an errand with Spencer, I asked him to feed the kids and crashed on the couch. I got on my laptop and looked up false labor and read an article that said you need to relax and allow labor to happen; allow your body to do its thing and not worry about not being ready. This struck me and I knew I was preventing the labor because I was so sure he would come next week and I wanted him to. I wanted his birthday after Halloween so it didn’t conflict with Halloween parties all his life. Also, my parents were coming on the 30th to help and this time my mom wanted to see the birth. She’d come for the first 4 kids (hadn’t come since then) but each time she had to stay home with my kids and babysit. Now that my dad was coming and Kylie was 13 (we’d left her when I went into labor with #7 at age 11) my mom was free to come with me when I went into labor.
That was not to be. After reading about letting my body do its thing I still said, “No, the baby isn’t coming until next week.” The pains stopped when I layed on the couch but Nathan was fighting with the kids at the table and I kept getting up to help with things. After dinner was cleaned up at 6:30 we started our Monday night family night but there were still arguments and I was so fed up I went to my closet and cried and prayed. After 20 minutes I finally told God the baby could be born today if that’s what He really wanted. I pictured me having the baby today and not next week like I wanted and took some time to accept it. (I was really stuck on a Nov. 4 birthday; I thought that sounded nice.) Once I finally accepted October 28, real back labor contractions started. It was 7:10 when I went back into the living room and told Nathan. We got our stuff together, called the doctor, called a babysitter to stay overnight with the kids, she called back saying she’d been stung by a bee and was going to the hospital herself, left Kylie in charge, and took off for the hospital. The kids waved goodbye to us from the driveway and the last thing Spencer said was, “I’m expecting the phone call by 8:30!” (his bedtime.)
We got to the hospital at 7:30 and waved to DeEtte going in as we tried to find parking. All of a sudden I felt an urgency so I jumped out and literally ran in with my suitcase while Nathan continued to circle for a spot and came in a minute later. While checking in I looked behind the admissions desk to see if there was a bathroom nearby because if they took any longer I thought I might have the baby right there. Really, it was pretty quick and we walked back to the labor and delivery area. We were taken to my room and greeted by 2 cheerful nurses. One told me to go to the bathroom for a urine sample and put a gown on. I went into the bathroom and took my pants off and pushed his head out. I opened the bathroom door and yelled, “His head’s out!” and the nurses yelled for me to get on the bed so I held his head and went over to the bed. DeEtte showed up out of nowhere (I guess she’d walked in the 30 seconds I was in the bathroom) and later said it was the funniest sight seeing me do a limping run out of the bathroom holding the head of a baby between my legs with only my shirt on. I got on the bed and pushed the rest of the baby out, which DeEtte caught. She went to put him on my chest but hesitated since I had my shirt on and not a gown so someone grabbed a blanket and wrapped him as she handed him to me. I was so happy he was out and just couldn’t believe it. One of the nurses said, “Now that’s the way to have a baby!” The other one was kicking herself because she said she heard I was fast and had debated whether to ask for a urine sample or just get me on the bed but since I was just walking in like nothing was going on she figured I had time. She was really funny.
I was super happy to have avoided the IV, to have a fun story, and to have had such a quick, easy labor. With my other labors I go over my due date so I have some extra time to picture it and prepare for it but this time I was focused on Halloween first and was going to get excited about the birth story after, so I was still kind of in shock that the pregnancy was already over and the baby was here.
We named him Samuel and he was 7 lbs. 8 oz and born at 7:38pm. He’s also been a bit on the small side, (25-40%iles) compared to my other kids. He was diagnosed with Autism (mild–more on the Aspergers side) when he was 4, has always been an easy baby and child, and loves that his birthday is right before Halloween. 🙂
Pregnancy #12: Baby #9 Anderson 9-1-2015
With no job I wasn’t thrilled about having another baby. But I also thought 9 months is a long time and for sure we’d have a job by then and be in a bigger house. I prayed about it a lot and got the answer whispered to me, “Just because he’s putting off his career doesn’t mean you have to.” I’d always wanted 10 children and I wasn’t getting any younger and never wanted more than a 24 month gap so I went ahead with faith. Not that we used birth control anyway, but if I’d gotten a no then I would have asked God what we should do to prevent a pregnancy.
The pregnancy was awful with restless legs and heartburn all the time. I felt like I wasn’t allowed to sleep or eat. Add that to my emotional state of being super mad Nathan didn’t have a job and feeling like our life was on hold, and it was not a happy pregnancy. I read my journal entries from those months and I was barely hanging on, just having hope that we would be saved any day. When all of my savings ran out Nathan did get a job tutoring at the community college a few hours a day which was enough to pay our cheap mortgage and we got food stamps and medicaid and put everything else on a credit card.
When I went a couple of days past my due date with numbers 2, 3, 4, and 5, I was always pressured to schedule an induction date but I never wanted to. I’ve always loved going into labor spontaneously and being surprised by God when and where it happened. I fantasize about going into labor and how it would look and wish it would happen how I’m thinking but then I remember that God can make a better story than I can and that He knows what’s best for me. I also think the giving and taking of life is in His hands. I did schedule an induction with #3 for 10 days past my due date but luckily I went into labor the night before (well, after midnight, but while just going to bed) and wasn’t induced.
With baby #9 I was strongly considering induction and it turned out to be the only baby I actually asked to be induced. He was due September 3 and that summer I had taken the 8 children on a 5 week trip to California. We left June 26 and drove 11 hours to Nashville, TN where my sister lived. She bought us tickets to California to visit our family but it was cheaper to fly out of Nashville than Raleigh and with 8 kids and 1 adult the savings add up. I hadn’t flown with my kids in 9 years (since I only had 4 kids) so we were super excited. We drove to Nashville (having to double buckle the whole way as we only had an 8 passenger van) on Friday, and spent the weekend celebrating my sister’s birthday. I was anemic and car sick (weak, dizzy and nauseous) after that long drive and couldn’t do all the fun stuff I’d planned to do in Nashville but we made the most of it and flew out on Tuesday for my parent’s home in Northern California. During the 4 weeks we spent with my family we made some great memories with siblings and cousins we rarely see, but the one I remember most was having walking pneumonia. All of the kids and I got it and I was so miserable. Seven months pregnant, taking care of 8 sick kids 14 and under, anemic, and then getting pneumonia on top of it. I was about done for. I’ve never felt so wiped out before. Still we tried to go to the fun places the whole family was going to like swimming, a baseball game, etc. We flew back to Nashville, spent another day there with my sister, then drove 9 hours to Virginia to visit friends I had named my stillborn, Julianne, after, then drove 5 hours home the next day. I came back on August 2 seven pounds lighter than I went and was so ready to have the baby. When I went to the doctor that week my hemoglobin/iron level was 7.1. After 5 weeks of traveling with 8 kids, enduring oppressive heat that gave me migraines, sick with pneumonia and anemic, I was frequently dizzy, lightheaded, nauseous, and just plain weak and exhausted. I had restless legs that kept me from sleeping at night and heartburn during the day that kept me from eating. My body felt so wiped out from the summer not to mention this being my 9th baby and 12th pregnancy. I was getting old and feeling it! I wondered for the first time ever if my body would give birth early just from being plain worn out.
A couple weeks after being home though I rallied and felt much better. The pneumonia was gone, my iron levels were up, and my energy was back. Before I felt better I was planning to ask to be induced because I couldn’t do it anymore but now that I felt better I still felt like I should induce. My sister flew out from Nashville for Thomas’s baptism (done at age 8) on August 28 and was going to be flying home September 3. Friday, September 4 was the start of Labor Day weekend and I begged Nathan to take the kids to his parent’s house in Florida for a few days if I had the baby before then. He said he would so that sealed the deal for me: I would ask to be induced on Sept 1 so that Lori would be here to see the birth and Nathan could leave on September 4 with the kids to Florida so I could rest in peace.
Turns out I had Group B Strep so my midwife, DeEtte, wanted me to be induced anyway so that I could get both doses of antibiotics before the baby was born, which wouldn’t happen with my precipitous labors. So with 3 good reasons to induce, I went ahead with it. I was still scared and secretly preferred I’d go into labor naturally before hand but then I worried the baby would get strep w/o my antibiotics and I didn’t want that. So I just prayed that whatever was supposed to happen would happen and it would all work out for the best. I did try to go into labor after the baptism but never did so induction it was.
Tuesday, September 1, Nathan dropped me off at the hospital to go finish a journal article and submit it. I hated him working on it for the past 2 years and told him the baby’s birth was the deadline. So he went off to the library to work on it although to this day has never submitted it. I also didn’t want Nathan there because of how he’d treated me during other deliveries and I was not happy with him for being unemployed the past 2 years and now having our 9th child. I went in at 6:30 and enjoyed not being in pain and in a hurry (remember Samuel?) but got to get settled, chat, and get my first dose of antibiotics. It was so different than arriving at the hospital in painful back labor or transition.
Lori took care of the kids all morning and came up to the hospital at 9:30. Nathan came around 10:15. I got my second dose at 10:30 and at 10:40 DeEtte broke my water. We waited around for awhile and just chatted. It was so weird having Nathan, DeEtte, and Lori just sitting around waiting for me to have a baby. I felt pressured to hurry up, but I wasn’t in any hurry. Usually I’m watching the clock and wanting a new speed record, but this time I really didn’t care how long it took. DeEtte told me about her weekend where she was on pins and needles waiting for my phone call. She said she took two cars to the HS football game Friday night and parked by the exit so she wouldn’t get stuck in traffic and would be the first one out if I paged. That’s funny because that’s the night I wanted to have him. (Right after Thomas’ baptism.) I’m touched that she prides herself so much on not missing my deliveries. It doesn’t matter to me, but she really wants to be there. She wouldn’t even leave the room the whole 2 hours we waited for the birth. I kept telling her she could go see other patients or something but she said she cleared her schedule and had the whole afternoon for me.
Anyway, at 11:15 I started to feel achy in my lower back, but not real contractions that started and stopped. I wondered if I should start pitocin but I really wanted a natural birth and DeEtte said I could take my time so I didn’t. Around noon the contractions gradually got stronger and it was nice to have Nathan pushing on my back whereas he’s usually driving or we’re running into the hospital. I stood by the bed and did squats or would be on all fours on the bed so Nathan could push on me. I kept thinking it was time to push because usually as soon as I get on the bed I push the baby out, so I would try to push or imagine pushing but it wasn’t time. DeEtte got the room ready, which I’ve never seen done before–usually the room isn’t ready– and finally at 12:30 I laid on my back and started to push. But that one wasn’t a pushing contraction either. Again, I felt like time was going so slow and everyone was just waiting for me. Then I gave a big push and DeEtte said, “Yep, I could see the head.” Lori got her camera ready and it was neat for everyone to be ready and watching. Usually I push the baby out when nobody knows. I gave a super long push with my eyes closed and he finally came out! It hurt more than I remember with the other kids. I was afraid I had torn, which I had never done before. The shoulders were the same way. I had to push a lot longer and harder. Well, no wonder! When he came out DeEtte said, “He’s solid. I think he rivals your biggest baby.” Turns out he was 8 lbs 11 oz! He was born at 12:39pm and we named him Anderson. I’m glad I got induced 3 days before his due date! I wouldn’t have wanted any bigger of a baby and I probably would have gone into labor within a day or two anyway, so it was good to do it while Lori was here and so that the kids could go to Florida. If he had been small or I still had another week then maybe not. But it all worked out perfectly and I was really happy with how things turned out. I still had a fairly quick labor, never needed pitocin (so maybe it’s not even a real induction??), I got both doses of antibiotics, we got to come home Wednesday night, Lori got to see the birth and cut the cord, the older kids told all their friends at their Tuesday night activities, and we were both healthy and well. As always, God was in charge and would bless me for bringing His children to the world.
It was great having Lori to help out with the kids at home (Kylie was almost 15) and to be a moral support for me as I really wasn’t getting along with Nathan like I said before. It was even better that he took the 8 kids to his parent’s house Friday through Tuesday. Anderson was super fussy (came out screaming and cried anytime a nurse checked his bracelet or bothered him–definitely a different personality than my chill babies) so he was a lot of work and I almost missed having someone else who could walk around with him while he screamed so that I could rest, but that’s the only time I’ve ever had the house to myself overnight before so I was still loving every minute of it. I really needed a break from the stress of Nathan’s unemployment and his OCD and all the work of taking care of the children so I was super grateful.
Pregnancy #13: Baby #10 Talea 6-29-2017
We packed the Uhaul the day after Christmas 2015 and drove across the country to our new rental house in Utah. We moved in on January 1, 2016. Nathan took a while to join the practice he came here to join because he had doubts about it, but finally started work at the end of January. By the end of June, 5 months later, he had quit. He decided he’d open his own practice and work all by himself. At the end of October he was out of town when I found out I was pregnant with our last baby. Since it was Thomas’s buddy he and I planned a surprise to tell the other kids and had a lot of fun with that. I let Nathan figure it out after he got back. I was very sick and knew it was a girl, but had a lot more peace. Nathan was rarely home and I shut down and didn’t talk to him much because I never got sympathy or understanding or concern anyway. So in a way it was a nicer pregnancy. The older kids were helpful in letting me rest and I remember watching a lot of Christmas shows from Halloween until Christmas when the morning sickness subsided. 🙂
My due date was June 28 and the 4 oldest kids had a church camp from June 25-28 where they walked and camped and ate like pioneers. Alexis was sooo excited for our last baby girl that she almost didn’t go. She couldn’t bear the thought of me giving birth while she was gone. I prayed a lot that I wouldn’t and my prayers were answered. But as soon as they got home at 4pm on the 28th I was totally ready to have the baby! I jumped on the trampoline and mentally tried to get myself to go into labor. My sister, Lori, flew in that day from Nashville to see the birth and was going to drive most of the kids to my mom’s house in California for the Fourth of July. They’d leave on July 1 so I wanted to be home from the hospital by the 30th. If I went a week over the kids would be sad they missed it. I was so sure I’d go into labor that afternoon I didn’t even have a dinner planned. When I realized I wasn’t going to the hospital any time soon I had to throw something together.
All evening as the kids unpacked, showered, and told stories, I did squats, ran up and down the stairs, and tried to break my own water or at least strip my membranes with my fingernail (my doctor wouldn’t at my appointment that morning.) I have since read that you’re never supposed to attempt this, but I didn’t know that and I’d always wanted to try since my 3rd baby when my L&D nurse friend told me she’s accidently broken women’s labors just checking them and it’s easy to do if I wanted to do it. I’d always wanted God to start my labor, but since this was my last baby, this was my last chance. I had a lot of achyness and I knew at least something was happening, but I went to bed disappointed she wasn’t born on her due date. I woke up at 3:30am to go to the bathroom and decided to try again. I didn’t want her born on the 29th because it’s an odd number and Lori’s birthday–I thought they’d want their own birthdays–but I also didn’t want to sit around waiting for labor all day and I wanted to be able to come home from the hospital on the 30th before they left for California like I said. So I tried once again to break my water with a crochet hook and this time it was a lot easier and I knew it would work because I could tell I was dilated quite a bit. My water broke immediately over the toilet and I was thrilled I had finally done it. I waited a little bit for the water to slow down then used a pad and got dressed. I went and woke up Kylie and Madalyn who were sound asleep after 3 days of camping and walking. I felt bad and that’s why I had wanted to have the baby during the day the day before. Then I woke up Alexis and Lori. The four of them all wanted to see the birth and I was really excited about that. I really didn’t want Nathan there at all but I knew that was rude and at least the 4 girls would be fun for me. He was sleeping on the couch (he often had insomnia and slept there to not disturb me) so I went downstairs and woke him up. We grabbed all our stuff and left for the hospital at 3:50am.
I sitll hadn’t had any contractions so I wasn’t sure if we were going too early. I secretly wanted to have the baby at home and this would have been my best chance. Nobody was awake to know and I could have woken them as soon as I was pushing her out. But I was also afraid I’d deliver without them getting to see, like Samuel–I didn’t know I was pushing him out when I was giving the urine sample. So I was sad to never have a home birth (I was on medicaid which didn’t allow it so it would have had to be on accident) but excited for my sisters and older girls to see.
We got to the hospital just after 4am and as usual Nathan told the check in desk to call the doctor and that I go really fast. (This was a new hospital and a new state so they didn’t know me.) A nurse said they weren’t allowed to call the doctor until they had checked me. Nathan said he knew that was their policy but doctors don’t make it for me, I surprise nurses with how calm I am, one was born in the bathroom, and this is #10. They said they understood but if they called the doctor every time a patient said they were fast they’d be calling doctors too early all the time. I reminded Nathan I’d only had one small contraction so far and I don’t care if the doctor is there or not. The nurse showed me my room and I changed into a gown slowly because I didn’t want to just be lying on the bed for a long time and I like to avoid the IV. I got on the bed and had a good contraction there where Nathan pushed on my back. Then I laid down for the baby monitor. She got some info in the computer and checked me. I was a 6. She told the nurses station to call Dr. Jones. I was excited I was a 6 because that means about 10 minutes for me. I focused on mentally pushing her out. I wiggled and stretched and still felt pretty good. I had another good contraction and I answered some questions. Some of the nurses were talking about having one of the girls go out because there were too many visitors but they were just sitting on a bench against the wall and weren’t bothering anyone so I told them to stay. I’d already asked my doctor that day and she said someone recently had 8 people watching.
The next contraction I felt a bit like pushing. I pushed really hard and asked if the girls saw anything and they all said they saw a little head. I was so excited. I said, “You saw the head?!! Really?!” I asked for a mirror and someone brought me one and I had a perfect view. I was so excited. Nobody was in my way and I was ready to push her out. Nathan said, “The doctor’s not going to make it is she?” The nurse said no so Nathan said he’d get some gloves and deliver. The short time before the next contraction the nurses were scrambling and there was no time to get anything ready. The contraction came and it wasn’t even very strong. I wasn’t sure if I was just imagining a contraction or if there really was one, but I guess there was one. I pushed really hard and looked in the mirror and saw her little head crown and come out. Nathan had been behind me pushing on my back so he was on the side catching and the nurse was on my other side and helped with the shoulders. The girls were in front of me to the side so they got a perfect view and got some great pictures. She was born at 4:30 exactly. The whole labor was perfect: 3 real contractions about 5 minutes apart and then 2 pushing contractions. None of them hurt very much at all, I hadn’t had to lie on the bed very long (with Madalyn it was a whole hour and Nathan didn’t push on my back so it was an excruciating labor.)
We named the baby Talea (“Tuh-Leah”) as she is Thomas’s buddy, and she weighed 7 lbs. 6 oz, my 2nd smallest baby. She had a good amount of hair like he did (everyone else was bald) and was just beautiful. I felt so blessed to have a tiny adorable baby girl for my last baby. All of my babies were cute and they’re all beautiful children now but most of them had a little something unattractive like 3 chins, a bald round head, scratches all over their face from long nails, a bruised head from coming out too fast, or torticolis. I felt immediately that she was a gift from God for me and even though my marriage might not last and people would criticize for having another baby when things were rocky (with good reason), God wanted her here and she would be a comfort and companion to me all my life. So far that has been true! She’s my best cuddler and little buddy and I love taking her on errands with me, cooking with me, or pulling weeds. I love her by my side!
All of the children coming to see Talea later that morning was extra sweet, knowing it was the last time they would do so. Nathan spent the rest of the day taking the minivan to the shop, filling out paperwork for Thomas to go to a scout camp the next day, and a few other things he needed to do. It was kind of a stressful stay but all of my stays have had issues, not with me or the baby but with Nathan and other problems like cars, so it was nothing new. I just made the best of it and enjoyed the alone time I had with Talea and the fact that I was done being pregnant forever. I was 38 years old and pregnancies had gotten quite hard since my 30’s when all of the symptoms were exacerbated: morning sickness, RLS, heartburn, fatigue and feeling like I never had time to take care of myself.
I went home on Friday morning and was thrilled how clean the house was. My older girls were now 16 and 15 and they did so much work in combing the little kids’ hair and cleaning and I loved how thoughtful they were in making sure things were nice for my homecoming. I felt really loved. I’m sure Lori helped too and it was so nice for me knowing the kids were getting love and attention from her and it wasn’t all on the older girls. The next day I took Talea to our neighborhood 4th of July party and the kids ended up not going to California that day because they wanted to be there for it. They also wanted to take Talea to church the next day and attend a reunion and slide show of the pioneer trek they had gone on so they ended up leaving late in the evening and drove all night 11 hours to my mom’s house. Lori and Kylie took turns driving and they took 7 kids: everyone but Alexis and Anderson. The kids were getting bigger and didn’t want to double buckle that far (not to mention I never liked doing that if we could avoid it) and Alexis was happy to stay home with Talea’s first week of life. Anderson was a very difficult 22 month-old and I don’t think my mom or Lori wanted him there anyway, haha.
Alexis and I had a great week. Anderson was quite difficult and neither of us wanted to take care of him but we both took turns and focused on making good memories holding Talea, eating breakfast on the porch, taking walks with the 2 little ones, watching our favorite show in the afternoon (“Outdaughtered”) and having plenty of time to talk. I still nursed Andy twice a day until he turned 2 in September. I’d always wanted to nurse the entire pregnancy and tandem nurse to just see what it was like and say I’d done it. I’m glad I did. It was a good way to bond with Andy since he was so difficult. It was hard that I was the only one who could put Andy down for his nap and bedtime because I nursed him and that got old real fast with a new nursing baby. I enjoyed nursing them both but wished someone else could put him to bed, so by the fall I weaned him so my older children or Nathan could help with bedtimes.
I nursed Talea until she turned 3–just a cuddle and nurse before going to bed at night–and I loved that. It seemed the perfect time to wean and it worked well for us. So that is the story of my very last baby joining my family. What a rollercoaster pregnancy, labor, and postpartum are but there are great blessings in bringing God’s children to Earth.